Day 3 - The Theory of Power Euchre

Day 3

The Theory of Power Euchre

Adrian, our bus driver, alerted us that we are on a tight schedule since he is legally limited to the amount of time he is on the job. So, it was imperative that we were ready to go at precisely 9:30 to make the 2-hour drive to Newcastle, Northern Ireland to play the famous Royal County down (#4 in the world ranking of golf courses). So, Jack gave us all a stern lecture on Saturday evening after dinner about being on time. Furthermore, at breakfast, Jack reminded all of us to be on time in the lobby. (You see where this is going, don’t you?). After breakfast in the hotel dining room, we were all dispersing at 9:15 to go back to our rooms and take care of matters before leaving on the bus.

We were all on the bus, ready to go at 9:30 except we were looking for Blaze. He came running out to the bus at about 9:35, and we all gave him an appropriately firm chastisement. But when Adrian did the headcount, he noted that we only had 7 people on the bus. “What?!?!? Who’s missing.” And then we saw it … Jack in his latest dapper outfit sauntering out the front door toward the bus at 9:38. As we lambasted him mercilessly, he was trying to defend himself by saying that when he went back to the room at 9:20, Paul was still sleeping. But somehow, Paul made it to the bus before Jack! After Adrian disciplined both of them in unmentionable ways, we were off for golf.

During the drive, of course, a euchre game broke out. The Emhardts were facing off against Jack and Cheatin’ Chan (for those who do not know, the origin of “cheatin” comes from Chan’s uncanny ability to subtly renege on a regular basis). Well, they weren’t more than three hands into the game, and the decibel levels were rising (aka Jack was getting all fired up about winning a hand). It was Jack’s deal and there was a kerfuffle over how he dealt the hand. John, the Greater called, “Misdeal!” and went for the cards. Jack rebutted saying he hadn’t turned over the card and so he caught his own mistake and was allowed to re-deal. Well, you would have thought the stakes were for some enormous amount of money – like $10 or something. What ensued was a raucous debate with John, The Greater and Jack grabbing for the deck while Chan was calling Pat Elward on speed dial. Monachino was on the web searching for the rules of euchre and Steve was trying to keep the peace … while Jay read his book and Paul slept in the back. Apparently, the loudest voice wins the argument … so guess who dealt the hand.

After a lovely drive through the Irish countryside, we arrived a sunny Royal County Down. We were assigned senior caddies and did some warming up. We made it to the first tee at 1:00 for our 1:06 tee-time and no one was ahead of us. So as John, The Lesser started to tee off, a very properly dressed starter in country club colors and nice tie stopped him dead in his tracks: “Laddie, your tee time is 1:06” as he pointed to the clock. So we all stood on the tee box awaiting the go-ahead. As soon as the clock ticked over to 1:06, the starter stepped forward and politely stated, “The tee box belongs to the first group.” I guess that’s how they do it at the top golf courses in the world.

The sun turned to clouds quickly and we played in clouds the rest of the day. John, The Greater birdied the difficult first hole, a par 5 (for a skin). The caddies guided us through many blind shots and helped us navigate past many bunkers, although with numerous operator errors, we ended in bunkers instead. Perhaps the most remarkable hole was by John, The Lesser who hit a drive so far right it almost went off the island (we believe quite literally 100 yds right of the fairway). It was miraculous that he even found his ball, let alone deliver an iron shot out of the deep gorse back into play, only to get up-and-down for a par. Truly a remarkable recovery.

It was in the clubhouse, that the discussion was about John, The Lesser’s very nice round of 80 (he missed a 5 foot putt on 18 for the 79 – shucks). At that point, having thrashed his father on the course, he became John, The Greatest, which is his appellation henceforth. The final results are noted below:

Medalist: John, The Greatest (80)

Winning Team: Blasewitz, Fisher, Love, Monachino (156 vs 159 – sum of low and high scores)

Skins: John, The Greater (4, with a 93!), John, The Greatest (1), Blasewitz (1) , Monachino(1), Love (1)

On the ride back, there was more boisterous euchre (well, at least one person was boisterous), until said boisterous person and his partner (Cheatin’ Chan) crumbled under the Theory of Power euchre which Steve brought to the table with Bill Monachino. Final score 10-3. Dinner was in the Portmarnock Hotel bar, which had a great calamari appetizer and more (did I mention?) Guinness. Jay and Bill talked to an investment banker for a Saudi Shiek who was worth billions, while Steve, The Greater, The Greatest and Saysana solved all the US political problems. The crazies stayed late for a nightcap or two (or more). Once again, sleeping was no problem.